Imagine you’ve just had an excruciating day.

Everything fell apart. You’re beside yourself.

Something inside you welled up — and you’re sad, annoyed or angry.

 

What if your partner knew precisely how to comfort you?

He doesn’t need to say a word.

Looking into your eyes, he hands you a tissue.

One small, silent gesture — that speaks volumes.

“I’m here. I hear you. I love you. It will be OK.”

 

Wouldn’t that change everything?

 

There’s an art to connecting, as a couple.

Simply falling in love doesn’t teach us this art.

We’re complex creatures, after all.

And relationships blend romance, personal histories, neurobiology, the great mystery, and so much more.

True connection is profound and rich.

AND it is something that can be learned.

 

What happens when a couple isn’t connecting?

One tiny, offhand comment can blow your partner’s fuse. (Or yours!)

You spiral downward, overpowered by insecurity and dissatisfaction.

You get stuck in roles and patterns that you don’t like.

You don’t have, or want, sex.

You’re hurt. Confused. Rejected. Frozen. Shut down.

You’re not sure how to communicate exactly what is going on —

— And you sure don’t know how to make it better.

 

What happens when a couple truly connects?

Sparks. Luxurious ease. Comfort. Delight.

It’s safe to get vulnerable.

Sex becomes a joyful and exciting expression of your love.

You throw open the door to a deeper, more satisfying intimacy than ever before.

You know how to soothe each other, attune to each other, and share your depths, calmly.

You feel seen.

You know you’re heard.

You love more. And are loved, more.

You’re in this, together.

 

I work with couples who’d love to connect more deeply.

Some of them are on the verge of a breakup.

Others are “fine,” but know things could be better.

Many are reassured by having an objective witness present for sticky conversations and profound revelations.

 

I am a therapist, a compassionate coach, and a guide into deeper connection.

 

The PACT approach sets the stage for profound, rapid transformation.

 

Stan Tatkin’s cutting edge PACT model explores three different domains which are responsible for relational difficulties:

The first is neuroscience, the study of the human brain. Understanding how the brain works provides a physiological basis for understanding how people act and react within relationships. In a nutshell, some areas of your brain are wired to reduce threat and danger and seek security, while others are geared to establish mutuality and loving connection.

The second is attachment theory, which explains the biological need to bond with others. Experiences in early relationships create a blueprint that informs the sense of safety and security you bring to adult relationships. Insecurities that have been carried through life can wreak havoc for a couple if these issues are not resolved.

The third area is the biology of human arousal—meaning the moment-to-moment ability to manage one’s energy, alertness, and readiness to engage.

Of course, it is not necessary to understand the scientific basis of PACT to realize its benefits.  That is my job.

 

It is such a pleasure to facilitate this depth and beauty of connection.

 

How It Works:

 

I meet with clients via Skype (from anywhere in the world) or in my office, on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.

 

I offer a free, 15-minute consultation to anyone who’s interested in Integrative Psychotherapy. Please contact me here to schedule your consultation, so I can answer any questions you have and help you decide if we’d be a good fit.

 

Questions? Don’t hesitate to ask.